Dr. Ramani ON: How to Spot a Narcissist & 3 Signs of Gaslighting in Any Relationship

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Today, I am talking to Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a licensed clinical psychologist in Los Angeles, CA, Professor Emerita of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, and the Founder and CEO of LUNA Education, Training & Consulting. She is an author of several books including Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship with a Narcissist, and “Don’t You Know Who I Am?”: How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility. The focus of Dr. Durvasula’s clinical, academic and consultative work is the etiology and impact of narcissism and high-conflict, entitled, antagonistic personality styles on human relationships, mental health, and societal expectations.

Dr. Ramani shares her studies about narcissism and our narcissistic tendencies. She and I talk about how our personalities define how we act with people and around people, why narcissists are resistant to change and to how deal with one, the truth about gaslighting and why it is so unhealthy to the person at the receiving end, and why we shouldn't misplace our hopes in others and instead place it on ourselves.

What We Discuss:

• 00:00:00Intro
• 00:03:11When did narcissism become a study of focus?
• 00:07:06Narcissism is a very quiet condition
• 00:12:45Awareness and discomfort
• 00:19:37How do people end up with a narcissistic personality?
• 00:26:25Narcissists can be very attractive
• 00:33:26The concept of multiple truths
• 00:36:40Love bombing
• 00:41:08The real meaning of gaslighting
• 00:47:05Dealing with a gaslighter
• 00:53:35“I can change this person.”
• 01:00:07Ultimate healing from a narcissistic relationship
• 01:04:31Setting healthy boundaries
• 01:06:49Adopting narcissistic patterns to be able to fight back
• 01:09:20Misplaced hope

Episode Resources

• Dr. Ramani Durvasula | Website
• Dr. Ramani Durvasula | YouTube
• Dr. Ramani Durvasula | Twitter
• Dr. Ramani Durvasula | Instagram
• Dr. Ramani Durvasula | Facebook
• NavigatingNarcissism with Dr. Ramani

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