Bill Eddy: How to Deal With High Conflict People
from Huberman Lab
by Scicomm Media
Published: Mon Oct 28 2024
Show Notes
In this episode, my guest is Bill Eddy, a lawyer, licensed therapist, professional mediator, and faculty member at the Pepperdine University School of Law. He specializes in identifying, reducing friction with, and disentangling from high-conflict individuals. We explain how high-conflict personalities differ from personality disorders and examine the cycles of blame and drama that cause persistent conflict in their relationships.
We discuss how to quickly recognize high-conflict individuals based on specific criteria and behaviors, helping listeners learn to spot their less obvious tactics. You’ll also learn how to disengage from them with minimal friction and understand the methods they use to draw people back in or keep conflict alive.
Additionally, we cover effective communication strategies for mediating situations involving high-conflict individuals, emphasizing empathy and problem-solving approaches. This episode equips listeners with tools to navigate conflict in various contexts, promoting resolutions that benefit all parties involved.
Access the full show notes for this episode at hubermanlab.com.
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Timestamps
Bill Eddy
Sponsors: Maui Nui & ExpressVPN
High-Conflict Families, High-Conflict Individuals & Patterns
Personality Disorders, Prevalence & Overlap
High-Conflict Personality vs. Personality Disorders, Blame
High-Conflict Individuals, Tool: First-Year Rule & Commitment
Sponsor: AG1
Relationship Stability, Tool: Vetting Potential Partners
Heightened Emotions, Negative Advocates, Divorce
Brain, Plasticity & Fear; Bullies, Polarization
Sponsors: Function & David
Emotions, Media, Politics
Tool: WEB Method, Identify High-Conflict Individuals
Body Cues, Identify High-Conflict Individuals
Tool: Don’t Label & Empathy; Adapting Your Behavior
High Conflict Personalities & Occupations
Big Personalities: Evidence vs Assumptions
Tool: Leaving a Combative High-Conflict Individual, Blame, Gradual Exit
Exiting a High Conflict Relationship & Timing
Tool: Disentangling from a Victim High-Conflict Individual, “Hoovering”
High Conflict Divorce, Small Families & Parental Estrangement
Tool: Managing Emotions & Relationships, EAR Statements
Large Families & Conflict Resolution
Bullies & Online Social Groups
Personality Disorders, Causes, Culture
Tool: 4 “Fuhgeddaboudits”, Topics to Avoid in High Conflict Resolution
Tool: CARS Method, Connecting & EAR Statements, Analyzing
Tool: CARS Method, Responding & BIFF Response, Setting Limits & SLIC
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